Tamás Gomperz: Yankees, come here!

I will continue with the same theme: U.S.-Hungarian relations, but this time in a lighthearted way. I discovered a short and very funny opinion piece in HVG which I would like to share with those readers of  Hungarian Spectrum who haven’t yet mastered the intricacies of  the Hungarian language. I just hope that my limited skills as a translator will be sufficient to capture the flavor of this short spoof. The author is Tamás Gomperz, a regular at HVG. I might add that a lot of right-wingers and Jobbik voters don’t seem to have a sense of humor. When Mandiner republished it, its readership (which unlike the editorial board is anything but moderately conservative) accused Gomperz of all sorts of  evil intentions.

The quotation at the beginning of the article should be familiar to the readers since I cited it a couple of days ago. It is one of László Kövér’s ruminations. So, here goes.

American flag

* * *

YANKEES, COME HERE!

We would be okay without Europe but only if the Americans came instead

“If that is the future of the European Union, then it is worthwhile to contemplate that perhaps we should slowly, carefully back out.” It’s hard to remember the last time that this deeply tormented man said anything intelligible or did anything useful, but now it seems that at last he wants to change his doleful course. But one should not take him terribly seriously and nobody should worry about our speedy departure from the Union.

There are two moral considerations here. One is that most of the money that can be stolen comes from the Union, and we all know that one cannot heat the swimming pool with patriotism. The second is that Hungary’s departure from the Union is not in Moscow’s interest. On the contrary, the Russians would be not at all happy if the Trojan horse suddenly bolted from the fortress and found itself outside its walls.

As long as this remains the situation, we stay. Moscow pays because it has managed to acquire an agent; the Union pays because it is stupid. Meanwhile the prime minister is convinced that he is very clever and cunning because he can take advantage of both sides. Based on his pocketbook, his reckoning is pretty accurate, although that does not mean that he would hesitate even for a second if he had no other choice. Then he would quit without the slightest hesitation. So, all those who love Europe should hold their collective breath for two things: Hungarian foreign policy will still be conducted from Moscow and the European Union will remain as stupid in the future as it has been in the past.

Given the cast of characters, the prospects are good for both. On the other hand, it is worth contemplating that America managed to do more for Hungarian democracy in one week than all the European political leaders have in the last four years. Therefore, perhaps it would be useful to rethink the situation. Perhaps we should slowly retreat from all that vacillation over Europe. Instead we could perhaps beg for a real American occupation, colonization, protectorate, whatever. They didn’t come in 56, they can make up for it now. We will take over the constitution, M. André Goodfriend could be the nádor,* governor, or sheriff, we are open to all solutions. He could start immediately with a proclamation. Because it is a good thing that people representing our worst features can’t go across the ocean. Actually, it would be even better if someone would expel them from here. We can’t solve the problem alone.

So, as the saying goes: there is life outside the Union but one must swim farther.

*nádor/palatinus local representative of the king in Hungary

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113 comments

  1. Price out the independent IPS, people will still want internet, obviously, but who will provide it?

    Any possibility the regime’s long-term target is state-control of internet supply?

  2. OT

    Tomi Deutsch never fails to amuse me with his idiotic ramblings. He must be drunk or high when he writes these, there’s really no other explanation.

    Seriously, how can he get away with calling the head of the US Embassy an “agent provocateur” and the “temporary head of the Hungarian left wing”?

  3. Regarding

    thank you for sharing what your relatives say.

    When you say:

    “Foreigners make a huge mistake assuming that most Hungarian prefer EU or NATO or the West. ”

    Could be true, but if anybody asked the average Hungarian this question before 2010 and before Orban started his freeedom fight against the West (IMF, EU, USA, NATO, liberalism, Luxemburgian politicians… whatever the flavour of the month) they would not have dreamt of saying anything against them.

    I remember the EU referendum in Hungary: even the elderly and apathic voters told me, with shiny eyes: “We probably won’t see much benefit of it, but our children and grandchildren will have it good, so I voted for joining.”

    People have been brainwashed by Orban and co.: repeat any lie often enough and people will believe it. Or some simply decided not to think any more: whatever Orban says is true.

  4. Just to make it clear: the EU will never apply any sanctions against Hungary (see link about a lecture by Michael Roth of Germany) because they know well that it is politically impossible to push it through and very soon it would be painfully obvious that the emperor is naked.

    At least this way everybody can pretend that the EU has political powers and is powerful. By any means facing reality must be avoided and appearances must be kept up.

    Unfortunately Fidesz lawyers (which is everybody in the leadership) first asks: what’s the potential sanction, the penalty?

    Oh, there isn’t one? Good to know.

    And so they act accordingly.

    Dictators only understand raw power, not legalistic and theoretic debates by well-dressed gentlemen. They are the butts of joke within Fidesz. Orban is no exception.

    http://hvg.hu/itthon/20141027_Nem_a_szankcio_a_megoldas__mondta_Pesten

  5. Hmmm…

    As much as I’ve seen of the demonstration, there wasn’t one single party-logo on display, still many people trying to put up the issue of the organiser(s) political orientation or/and party membership. What’s the point, really?

    I even heard someone mentioning in some broadcast that politicians “who belong to the left” were observed among the crowd..! And, then what?

    There were some heavy items thrown at the blinds, such as old fashioned fat screens and such, anyone have any idea where it came from? I’ve found highly unlikely that people carried all that stuff all along the way, not to mention, there wasn’t any image showing demonstrators with some twenty or so pounds of obsolete stuff, not to mention that – as I know – it wasn’t even public in advance that they will go to the Lendvay street. Where all those things came from?

    I’ll appreciate any help here!

  6. @spectator

    This is what I saw.

    1.
    Part of the crowd moved to the Fidesz headquarters from Heroes’ square after the official closing of the demonstration.

    2.
    People started to throw their plastic keyboards at the building.

    3.
    Police guarding the headquarters withdrew probably under orders – there was a police van and it moved away.

    4.
    Some people, perhaps agents provocateurs hurled computer displays at the building and broke two (?) windows.

    5.
    Police came back and lined up around the building.

  7. D7 Democrat wrote: “Any possibility the regime’s long-term target is state-control of internet supply?”

    I don’t think that there’s any doubt that this is the case. The question is whether they want to simply control the volume, by taxing usage (thus getting a double win by keeping the population uninformed and impoverished) as currently planned or they will eventually attempt, like China, to sieve-out unwanted sites. Perhaps the government will try to get some censorship software from China… purchase it via an off-shore entity, and maybe some Fideszniks can skim off a commission…

  8. Thank you tappanch!

    The fat monitors are what started nagging my mind, then I’ve seen even an old PC in some image – I say “hallo?”
    A keyboard and some smaller peripherals can be carried without significant effort – albeit I don’t really see the point of the whole – but a displays are definitely a telltale overkill.

    I hardly think that many private person still keep home a fat beast ready to trash at all, let alone finding that the best thing ever could happen with it to take out for a walk and then throw at a building.
    The only place that it probably survived the last ten years is in some obsolete office or storage of some kind.
    Well, Hungary surely living in the past, but still, it’s a bit too harsh for my taste.

  9. @GW
    I think rather that first they will take over the business, then control the internet.
    Taxing them to death only the first step.
    Remember, they want to control all the media, event attempted to establish a state-owned mobile operator, or something along this lines, so the “National Internet Provider” badge probably in the works already.

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